This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
