Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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