He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
this will be a night to untag.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
