What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
