If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
