whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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