mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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