Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
