Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
