here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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