but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
