the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its not stalking. its research.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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