R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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