He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
