He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
