i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
