I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
