Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
