question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
