I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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