I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
