I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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