well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
