I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm passing your future prison.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
