he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
