you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
