i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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