I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
