"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
