i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
