why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
