mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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