Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My penis needs a shock collar
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
