singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
