Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
