So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
