You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
