Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
