Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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