It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize
