There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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