her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
