He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize