You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
