dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
