My room smells like vodka and shame
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
