good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
