OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
