i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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