so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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