I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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