its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
