quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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