Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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