a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
