i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Randomize