I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
