I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
