Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
