So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
