The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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